Escape to Paradise: Luxury Cottage with Breathtaking Country Views in Kilgetty
Escape to Paradise: Or, How I Didn't Quite Escape My Own Chaos (But Had a Blast Trying) - A Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea – and maybe a little bit of my own lukewarm coffee – on Escape to Paradise, the luxury cottage with those breathtaking country views in Kilgetty. Let’s get one thing straight: the brochure promised paradise. And while my personal baggage (both literal and figurative) sometimes threatened to overwhelm the whole darn experience, I’d be lying if I said I didn't have a blooming good time.
Accessibility (and a side of my clumsy self): Truth be told, accessibility isn't my primary concern (thank goodness!). But I, of course, had to poke around a bit. I noticed a few things. The brochure claimed the cottage was accessible. I'm not an expert, but I'd say it's… mostly true. There's an elevator, which is great! But you know, sometimes, those "accessible" things are almost there, you know? Like a half-baked cake.
On-site "Stuff" & My Inner Indecisive Tourist: Okay, so there's a restaurant, right? And a bar? I’m the kind of person who spends half an hour agonizing over a menu, even when I'm STARVING. So, obviously, I spent ages pondering what's available, and what the vibe of these places were.
Restaurants, Bars, and Bellyaches (of the good kind):
- Restaurants: Yup, there are restaurants! International cuisine, Western cuisine, Asian cuisine, vegetarian options. A buffet! (My tummy's happy place.). Now, the buffet…let's talk about that. It was a beautiful buffet. I mean, seriously, picture mountains of pastries, glistening fruit, and everything in between. I walked in with the best intentions. "I'll just have a little," I told myself. Fast forward an hour. My plate resembled a small, edible Everest. (Important tip: wear loose pants.) They had "Happy Hour" and "Poolside Bar" which obviously is the best combo.
- Bar: Speaking of liquid goodness, the bar was a godsend. After a long day of pretending to be a sophisticated traveler, a perfectly poured cocktail was exactly what my frazzled nerves needed. Let's just say I became very friendly with the bartender. He was a lifesaver.
Spa, Swimming, and Stressed-Out Bliss:
- Spa: Oh, the spa. This is where the "luxury" really kicked in. They had it all: body scrubs, body wraps, saunas, steam rooms, and a pool with a view. I'm usually a "go, go, go" kind of person, but I decided to try and "relax". I got a massage (bliss!), tried a foot bath (weirdly amazing!), and attempted to meditate in the sauna (failed miserably, but at least I sweated out some of my anxieties). I actually went back a second time and got the massage, I loved it.
- Pool: And the pool! Oh, that glorious pool. It was a sight. A refreshing escape from the mundane.
Cleanliness and Safety (Because the World is a Mess):
- Honestly, even with the current state of the world, I found it super clean. They had all the bells and whistles: Anti-viral cleaning products, hand sanitizer everywhere, and staff trained to the nines in safety protocols. They provide hand sanitizers. That's what I appreciated. I loved that they provided the hand sanitizers.
Dining, Drinking, Snacking, and My Endless Hunger:
- Room Service: 24-hour room service? YES PLEASE. I may have ordered a midnight snack or two. Who am I kidding? I definitely ordered a midnight feast. The food was delicious, and the staff was incredibly patient with my late-night cravings.
- "Breakfast in Room": While I appreciate the idea of a breakfast in room, my attempt to be a put-together guest ended with me dropping my coffee everywhere. So, maybe stick to the buffet… or just order room service again (no judgement!).
Services & Conveniences (The Stuff That Makes Life Easier):
- Concierge: They were amazing. Need a taxi? Done. Need a suggestion for a hidden gem? They had a bunch. They even gave me directions to the nearest ice cream parlor (a vital necessity, in my opinion).
- Laundry Service: Thank heavens for the laundry. After a few days of exploring, my suitcase looked like a clothes bomb went off.
- Wi-Fi for special events: This, I didn't check out. Why would I?
For The Kids AND My Inner Child:
- Babysitting service: I don't have kids, but I saw a few families there. They seemed to be having a blast.
Rooms (My Haven, My Mess):
- Okay, here's the juicy part. The rooms. They were gorgeous. Air conditioning (essential!), a comfy bed, a coffee maker, a mini-fridge. Oh, and the views! I could open my window and be stunned, the scenery was just breathtaking.
- My Mess: I would be lying if I said I maintained all this beauty. I immediately made a mess. Every morning the staff cleared it.
Getting Around (AKA My Sense of Direction… or Lack Thereof):
- They offered airport transfer (helpful!), and I managed to figure out the car park (free of charge, score!).
The Little Extras That Made Me Go "Ooh!":
- The complimentary tea and coffee provided in the room.
- Wake-up service.
The Verdict (My Honest, Chaotic Opinion):
Escape to Paradise? It was mostly that. It wasn't a perfect escape from the world, or my own inner chaos, but it was a damn good try. The staff were fantastic, the spa was divine, and the views… well, they were truly breathtaking. Would I go back? Absolutely! Just maybe next time, I'll try to pack a little less baggage (metaphorical and otherwise). And perhaps learn how to meditate in a sauna without accidentally setting off the fire alarm. (Just kidding… mostly.)
Metadata & SEO-Friendly Keywords:
- Keywords: Luxury Cottage, Kilgetty, Country Views, Spa, Sauna, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Bar, Accessibility, Wheelchair Accessible, Free Wi-Fi, [Specific amenities/features like "Breakfast in Room," "24-hour Room Service," etc.].
- Meta Description: A hilarious (and honest) review of Escape to Paradise, a luxury cottage in Kilgetty. Find out if this place truly lives up to its name, from breathtaking views and a divine spa to a clumsy guest's chaotic adventures. Includes details about accessibility, amenities, dining, and more!
- Title: Escape to Paradise: A Funny & Honest Review of a Luxury Cottage in Kilgetty (Chaos Included!)
- Alt Tags (for images – if I had any!): "Luxury Cottage Kilgetty View," "Spa Massage Relaxation," "Delicious Buffet Breakfast," "Pool With a View."
Okay, strap in, buttercups. This ain't your average, perfectly-curated travel itinerary. This is my trip to The Blacksmiths, Kilgetty, and trust me, it's gonna be a ride. Buckle up, because we're going for a messy, honest, funny, and utterly human experience. And you're all invited (sort of… mostly vicariously).
The Blacksmiths - Kilgetty, UK: Operation "Get Me Away From Civilization (But Make it Cozy)" - Itinerary of Sorts
Pre-Trip Anxiety Bonanza (Weeks Before - and Oh My GOD, the Lists!)
- Week 1: Obsessive online lurking. I’ve already virtually walked every inch of The Blacksmiths, zoomed in on the supposedly "luxury" throws (are they scratchy? I HATE scratchy), and mentally rearranged the furniture six times. I've read every review, the good, the bad, and the downright batshit crazy. (One person complained about a lack of “ambient owl noises.” Seriously.)
- Week 2: Packing. Oh. My. God. Packing. I'm pretty sure I've folded and refolded my entire wardrobe three times. The "perfect" outfit for a rainy coastal walk? Still a work in progress. The "emergency chocolate stash"? That's locked and loaded (and I might have sampled a few squares already… don't judge). I'm also buying more books than I can read in a month, because, you know, options.
- Week 3: Pre-trip panic. Did I remember to cancel the newspaper? Did I feed the cat? (Wait, I don't have a cat. That's a problem). Oh, and the biggest terror of all: will the weather actually be nice? Praying to the sun gods, the wind gods, and anyone else who will listen.
Day 1: Departure, Arrival, And The Great Welsh Biscuit Debacle
- 06:00: Wake up. Early. Because, apparently, I'm incapable of a leisurely start when travel is involved.
- 06:30: Final packing checks. Did I REALLY remember the phone charger? (Yes. Maybe. I think.)
- 07:00: The Drive. The car is packed. The playlist is chosen (mostly 80s power ballads for maximum emotional impact). The sky is grey and I am already in love with this trip.
- 11:00: Stop at a random roadside farm shop in Wales. OMFG, the cheese! The clotted cream! And the biscuits. I buy a selection, visions of afternoon tea dancing in my head.
- 11:30: Realisation. Realisation that I forgot my water bottle. Sigh, back to the farm shop.
- 13:00: Finally Arrive. The Blacksmiths – even better in person than I imagined! That cottage exterior? Adorable. The views? Incredible. I think I'm in love. (Again).
- 13:30: Unpack (mostly). Settle in. Breathe. The place smells faintly of woodsmoke and…promise. I LOVE these little places. So cozy.
- 14:00: Biscuit Time! Ah. Hmm. The biscuits. Okay, let's just say the "selection" included a few that were less "delicate shortbread" and more "rocks with a hint of sugar." The first one was almost a mouth catastrophe. And then another. I try to wash down the taste with a cup of tea. After one biscuit test, I discover a tea, now an afternoon delight. This is amazing.
- 14:30 The garden. Is. Amazing.
15:00 Settling in and reading my book is complete bliss. The cottage has everything I need to be alone. The only thing I needed. Total solitude!
- 16:00: A short walk to the local pub (The Wiseman's Bridge Inn). Oh joy. More beautiful weather! Good food! And a pint of something dark and delicious (and I might have had a tiny cry because I'm easily moved by the scenery).
- 18:00: Back at the cottage. Fire lit. Book open. Bliss.
Day 2: Coastal Capers and Cliffside Contemplations (and the Great Map Mishap)
- 09:00: Wake up. Feeling refreshed (amazing!). The weather is glorious. Decide this is the day for a coastal hike.
- 09:30: Breakfast. Scones with clotted cream (the good stuff!). Tea (obviously). Newspaper (because I DID remember to cancel it, and I’m using it to line the bird feeder).
- 10:00: The Great Map Mishap. Armed with a map (I’d downloaded one…of course, I did). I wander off, feeling like a proper explorer. Except…I am hopelessly bad at following maps. I swear, it’s like my brain just short-circuits when I try to orient myself.
- 10:30: I lose myself. This happens quickly. I wander, get lost, wander some more, and get lost again.
- 11:30: Finally, I find the path. And, oh my god, it's stunning. The cliffs! The sea! The vastness of it all! I might have taken a moment, or two, to breathe and just, you know, be.
- 13:00: Find a tiny cafe and order a sandwich. Simple perfection.
- 14:00: Wander back to the cottage, slightly wind-burned, profoundly happy, and already planning my return.
- 16:00: Return to the cottage. Make a tea and snack. Read for a bit in the sun. The black smiths is a paradise.
- 18:00: Dinner. I make a simple dinner in the kitchen and enjoy a glass of wine, the sunset, and the silence. Pure. Bloody. Heaven.
Day 3: The Drive Home (or, The Bitter-Sweet Goodbye)
- 08:00: Wake up. Sigh. The end is near.
- 08:30: Final breakfast (scones, obviously, but I can't face the dodgy biscuits).
- 09:00: Pack. Again. A little bit more slowly this time. Trying to savour the moment, but also wanting to, you know, get on with it.
- 10:00: The Great Clean-up (or, the "I'm-Not-Leaving-A-Trace" game). The cottage must be spotless!
- 11:00: One last look at the views. One last lungful of fresh air. Tears. I admit it. I'm sentimental.
- 11:30: The drive home. The journey back always feels a little…empty. But I'm already planning my return.
- 15:00: Get home. Unpack. Start dreaming of future trips.
Quirky Observations and Emotional Reactions (In No Particular Order):
- The silence. It's deafening at first. Then, it’s like a warm hug.
- The sheep! Everywhere! They're adorable. And occasionally, they judge you.
- The wind whipping off the coast. Brutal, but exhilarating.
- The feeling of being in a postcard. Unreal.
- The slightly chaotic, slightly perfect, nature of it all. I wouldn't have it any other way.
- Will I ever stop talking about those biscuits? Probably not.
- The smell of the cottage - the woodsmoke, the old wood, perfection.
Final Thoughts:
This trip to The Blacksmiths was far from perfect. It was messy. It was a bit disorganised. There were questionable biscuits. But it was mine. And it was exactly what I needed. A chance to escape, to breathe, to wander, to laugh, to cry (okay, mostly to laugh). And I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Now, where's that map…? Because I want to go back. Again. And the "ambient owl noises"? I'm happy to live without them.
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Right, so... "Luxury"? Seriously? What's the *real* deal, because the brochure photos always lie.
Okay, okay, let's be honest. "Luxury" is a loaded term. It’s like when your date says they're "adventurous" and then the adventure is ordering the slightly spicy chicken wings. Look, the *cottage* itself? It’s lovely. Really. Think… well-appointed. You know, like a slightly-better-than-Ikea-but-still-probably-from-a-chain kind of lovely. They *try* with the plush throws. The fireplace IS real (thank God, because Welsh weather is a joke) and the kitchen *says* luxury. The Nespresso machine? My saving grace in the morning. But... and this is where reality bites... the *stuff* around it? Let’s just say you might find a slightly-worn copy of "Fifty Shades of Grey" in the bedside table. Not that there's anything *wrong* with that, you understand, but it says a lot about the *vibe*.
Those "Breathtaking Country Views"... are they, like, actually breathtaking? Or just mildly pleasant? Because "mildly pleasant" doesn't sell me on a week away, you know?
Alright, the views. YES, they are actually pretty damn good. Seriously. I'm not easily impressed – city life, you know? But the rolling green hills? The sheep dotting the landscape like fluffy white Easter eggs? The sunsets that melt into the horizon? They're genuinely spectacular. I actually *sat* on the patio one evening with a glass of wine – a surprisingly *un-broken* glass, I might add – and just… stared. Pure bliss. Until a bloody wasp decided my Sauvignon Blanc looked tastier than it was and nearly sent me screaming back inside. But, yeah, views? They deliver. Don't forget the bloody wind though, will make you feel like you are going to fly away anytime. I loved it, I hated it, but I still watched and loved it.
Kilgetty. Is it… a place? What's *there* to do? Don't tell me "go for walks."
Kilgetty is... well, it *is*. It's a village. A very, very quiet village. Population: probably more sheep than actual people on some days. Look, it’s NOT Ibiza. There's actually *one* pub. One! And a little shop. The shop saves your bacon though, trust me. You're not coming here for the nightlife, that's for sure. You're here for the *peace*. The walks are unavoidable, but actually… surprisingly pleasant. I ended up loving them, even when caught in a torrential downpour and looked like a drowned rat. There's also some beaches further out. Tenby beach, now that's a winner. BUT remember one thing: you're in Wales. Expect rain. Embrace the rain. Become one with the rain. Otherwise, you will be sorely disappointed.
The all-important "Is it child-friendly?". I ask because… well, I’m travelling with my offspring. And my sanity.
Mmm, child-friendly. Okay. The cottage itself? Mostly. Staircases are always a gamble, but they were manageable. The views? Kids seemed to appreciate them for about 10 minutes before demanding screen time. The garden? Wonderful potential. BUT... there were *these* nettles! And OH MY GOD, the *Midges*!!! They were relentless! I swear they followed us everywhere, and my poor child looked like he'd been in a bar fight. So, yeah, bring the bug spray. And a hazmat suit, just in case. Oh – and, the *dog*! We took our dog, the dog was absolutely, and utterly ecstatic. So, in terms of child-friendly, yes, mostly, but honestly, the dog had the time of their life, and the kids were just, you know, kids. Always have a plan B, like a box of snacks and Netflix because they're going to demand it every 10 minutes.
What about the kitchen? Do I need to pack my entire arsenal of culinary gadgets?
Alright, the kitchen. It *looks* great. Stainless steel, granite countertops, the works. But... it's a bit like a glamorous model who can't actually *cook*. It's *mostly* well-equipped. You've got your basics: pots, pans, a slightly-blunt knife collection. The oven worked, which is always a good sign. The dishwasher! God bless the dishwasher! Okay, there was this *one* day, that the washing machine decided to... how to put this delicately... *explode*. Okay, maybe not explode, but let's just say, it leaked. A lot. This ended a week of being slightly chaotic, and it wasn't the way you wanted it, but hey, some memories were made. Pack your own decent chefs knife. Just trust me. And maybe some extra tea towels because they're always in seriously short supply.
Okay, the owner/host? Good eggs? A nightmare? And that little thing that ALWAYS happens?
The owner? They seemed nice enough. Contact was minimal which suits me, as I'm not a big talker. They did leave a welcome basket, which was a nice touch. Full of Welsh cakes, which is my favourite snack, and some local jam. *Winning!* They also had a little folder with instructions and recommendations. Nothing too in-depth, which is great, as really the less contact the better – but I did ask if they had a garden and got a response. Which was a bit odd. I asked where the garden was and all I got was *'just somewhere around the back'*... Okay, so there was no actual garden. Well, there was *a bit*. But it was more a sort of... overgrown patch of grass. Oh, and that *thing* that ALWAYS happens? Yep, the Wi-Fi. It went down. For a day. But who am I kidding? It's a holiday, don't be using your phone anyway!
Let's talk about the *vibe*. Would I go back? Would *you* go back?! Spill the tea!
Alright, the vibe. Mixed. Honestly? It's *rustic*. It's charming. It’s also, at times, slightly… *disorganised*, shall we say? The whole thing felt... imperfect. The sofa was comfy, but the pillows were a bit flat. The shower was hot, but the water pressure could have been better. But you know what? That's life, isn't it? And it's probably why I *loved* it. I wouldn't go every year, but I'd happily go back. The peace, the views – they were worth their weight in gold. And the flaws? They become stories. They're the things I'll remember. It's not a flawless palace, but it's genuine. And, if you like genuine, then yeah, give it a go. Just pack a decent knife,Book Hotels Now
